ALKALI

There are always boys around. Every night, a new one, To feed from. They always stay over, fully clothed.

They smoke the night away, in dusty hallways and empty skulls. We pour our hearts out onto the floor. Blood everywhere we love the mess we stare. I have to live alone, i cannot be judged anymore. i am addicted to lying to myself addicted to being surrounded by liars addicted to falseness, to a sense of purpose that i know doesn’t exist.

He flips me over running his tongue down my crooked spine. and neither of us are alive. but like a light flickering inside the VAM we are connected through the constellations

and he reads my mind aloud, like a manuscript. i can feel his voice inside my head, pricking at old discomforts, delusional. There are little sparks i can remember. Neurons that used to be explosions, are now little fuzzy, barely audible buzzes.

The butterflies are corpses. The lights are flickering, low. The wick is burning way way down. The newness is lost. The innocence has plummeted, into the gutters.

And i lay above it all, on the streets, letting the rain wash the flesh from my bones, still feeling nothing at all.

Sleeping with the Sun

Today, I swallowed the sun and commanded the wind

As the sun made slow passionate warm love to my every pore, I felt it enter me

I wasn’t aware of how the horrors of being black in America had dimmed by inner light

I wasn’t aware of how angry

I was

How jaded

I was

How broken

I had become

But when the sun gently licked me from head to toe

When the sun went soo deep I had to moan

I was reminded of the pleasure I could feel

And what the sun left inside of me at the height of its shine was no fleeting emptiness of euphoria lost

It was the strength to carry on

So I let my breath become the wind

And with a moan deeper than the hidden crevices of mother nature’s womb

I exhaled the pain

The anger

The sorrow

The hate

That the white man’s world injected deep into my veins

I never saw the syringe coming

But it penetrated me

There was no consent

My passport is the drink he bought me

My citizenship is the lifestyle he finances

How treacherous is the devil that he made his way onto the welcome committee of life, shaking hands with each of us

Buying our silence

Scheming us out of our freedom

But the sun taught me how to surrender myself to love again

How to ride the sensual waves of a love so deep that goose-flesh comes to deck to witness the smooth miracle of turbulence

The white man may have mastered fire as he burned down my country and yours

But I guarantee you that the light now filling me carries heat that even fire cannot fathom

Today,

I swallowed the sun and commanded the wind.

Copyright reserved to the limitless project & Mikael Owunna

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