ALKALI

There are always boys around. Every night, a new one, To feed from. They always stay over, fully clothed.

They smoke the night away, in dusty hallways and empty skulls. We pour our hearts out onto the floor. Blood everywhere we love the mess we stare. I have to live alone, i cannot be judged anymore. i am addicted to lying to myself addicted to being surrounded by liars addicted to falseness, to a sense of purpose that i know doesn’t exist.

He flips me over running his tongue down my crooked spine. and neither of us are alive. but like a light flickering inside the VAM we are connected through the constellations

and he reads my mind aloud, like a manuscript. i can feel his voice inside my head, pricking at old discomforts, delusional. There are little sparks i can remember. Neurons that used to be explosions, are now little fuzzy, barely audible buzzes.

The butterflies are corpses. The lights are flickering, low. The wick is burning way way down. The newness is lost. The innocence has plummeted, into the gutters.

And i lay above it all, on the streets, letting the rain wash the flesh from my bones, still feeling nothing at all.