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I, Reprised
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My own words marred by perilous thoughts of a more sensible journey, purple sun, you’re color blind. The words of a stranger tear apart two more. I bear witness to my own departure; the only one left sitting in the pew – service ending abruptly, four years and four months ago if the date matters more to you now than it did then.
I, brittle, my words a reflection, cannot fill a page. When I do the verses flicker in and out of sight, thinner than the paper I press the ink into, bleeding into my skin more than it should.
I, tired, my thoughts a reflection, cannot starve these hands any further for fear of lack of grip. When I tie my shoes it takes longer than my excuses can bear, shaky fingers threading silk into an apology.
Lately I’ve been spending my days learning to unlearn the thoughts I accepted as a gift, wrapped tightly in your arms, if I run my feet follow ten steps behind, I love you like a run-on sentence.
- Cassandra Dana
in the distance
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Preamble: This reverie manifested from an experience of going to the countryside after months of living in the city. It is an attempt to express the perceptual encounter with the surrounding rural landscape and the horizon line.
In the distance
the snow lifting in pieces cutting your view into arrangements
in the rear view
the faint country house slides off
Behind the fence and down the faded tire tracked residue of a laneway
you notice the long-passed obstacle of something undone
The snowcapped trees
perpendicular, horizontal, curvature
In that faint house
out in the middle of somewhere
the centerpiece with smoke rising melts the top of a snow stacked roof
while warm bodies hide in the womb
Underneath the bent pine
in the middle of somewhere
almost nowhere
And every passed snow trekked trail, rusted down car, dilapidated barn
every animal track and barred up window and door
an imprint
She won’t give it up though
her mystery
not today, not any night
her “children” watch you trying to watch them
you are just too fixed on this being somewhere and not just anywhere
The taillights winding down, fading with your imagination
you wander down the snow road wondering
who else would wake to this?
In the distance
you fade out with it.
Photo by @inthedistance
parc butte chaumont
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I asked if I could take one more ride on his moto,
But he is wiser than me,
He said it’d make things harder,
And politely said “non”.
I arrived in Paris a week ago,
A year since my last stay,
I tried to hide my presence,
It proved too difficult,
Especially at Parc Butte Chaumont.
I saw the bench and paths we shared,
Then I laid down to enjoy the sun,
I gently cried despite weather,
This time and place last year,
It was our first afternoon together.
My tears signalled that I must disclose,
I kept looking for Geoffrey in the flows,
And at night – in the Parisian clubs,
I searched for his eyes on my tiptoes.
I hoped to accidentally see him on the road,
Like the day I saw him near Arpège,
I worried of rejection if I called,
But I grew impatient on May 28th,
At 10:00pm I left a message at the tone.
He responded promptly,
He was in Normandy,
And would arrive in Paris late at night,
At 3:00am I’d be at rue de Panama,
By 6:00am he’d be holding me tight.
We shared our news and laughed lightly,
He’s been working the gardens,
But like a seesaw,
Simple news turned into emotion,
And longing forced laughs to withdraw.
The mood becomes sombre,
Our tea turned into something stronger,
We sipped gin and our eyes began to wander,
I asked him not to disappear,
Time could not stop my heart from growing fonder.
The windows in Geoffrey’s flat began to brighten,
He asked to hold me before I go,
My heart raced like engine of his moto,
I knew it’s best not to kiss him,
But I felt weak like a shadow.
I tried once and he said it’d make things harder,
Still I felt his hands on my legs and face,
Within minutes it was over,
I shed my final tears on his shoulder,
It was time for me to go.
- Natasha Bazilev
Photo by Nick Norstrom
gifts
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I don't want roses
I don't want your department-store affections
your sickly-sweet scent
I don't want to stab the pads of my fingers
on the thorns you forgot to remove
I don't want roses
you've cut from their sister-blooms
and left for dead in shallow water
I want you
to give me wisterias vines
that I may brush aside their pastel-soft tales
from the windows of your inherited home
and peek inside
I want you
to plant a dream-big seed
dig your fingers into damp earth
sift through the stones and the worms
I want to see your nails trimmed black
as you tease hair-soft roots loose
into a cradle of earth
I want you
to tend to a spear-tall ash
we can shelter
then be sheltered under
where we can sacrifice our fears,
our blind eyes for wisdom
I want you
to make mulch from eggshells
to grind bones into bread for a cypress
that will grow however it wants
over the names we leave fading
on our graves
I don't want roses
wrapped in ink-fresh paper
please anything but them
I want you
to give me something new
in wrinkle-crinkle pages
from your diary
I don't want roses
I want you
- chris DINGLEY
fold
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We hide rebels under wood, and beware
of tales, watermelon trees rooted in bile.
Who can tell if we’re crying or praying.
We turn our faces into the sun. There's nothing
left to look at, so I recreate a face print in the mud,
clear crumbs from my bed sheets,
and never buy crackers again.
It’s ineffective. The glare
makes it obvious. Fold your hands.
Swallow the seeds. Feel death,
but in this way: poured
over firmly potted orchids.
- Conyer Clayton
Photo by Izzy BG
an evening at manor farm
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I yearn for the days when we fought the wrong
Our words remained unsaid instead of remaining our fear
Everything we say can be used against us
Yet, nobody stands up, even though we're not sitting down
The lights are fading on the brightest lamp
Back in the day we fought
Stone walls built, we have no ammo
Our artillery invisible, we make it okay
Take a picture they say, when the moment's memorable
Take a selfie they say, when they're trying to be like the kids
The soccer moms join and jump at the trend
The death of the meme was a prolonging success
Big brother is watching them all
Yet people we've never met know our secrets
Our fears, our hopes
The terrible truth becomes ignored
- K.P. Duke
Photo by: Patrick Kidney
sternum
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i have a chest full of ashes and starlight
i keep corners of it full
so i might have to spare some
when my mother tries to clean me out
i like to ache, thick in the center of my backbone
maybe masochism is the only cure for chronic pain
somewhere lost in chaffed flesh
i used to have a heart
-Sun Rey
Breath
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The breath will swallow you,
surround you in a misty cloak.
Your vision will blur like a kaleidoscope
with colours frantically changing.
The red will emerge into water,
like smoke dancing in air.
Silence will shower the atmosphere while time ceases,
all while the world takes a ride on a carousel.
And a silent scream will seep
from a face as straight as black.
- Cosette Vandenberg
When you ask me where i’m from
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i know nothing of a state
i know only of my roots
i know nothing of nationalism
i know only of family
so when you ask me where i’m from
i will say
my parents
their bodies are where i was created
where i first lived
and where my heart lives
- Claudia Vergara
Kerosene Lake
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We stood on the banks of a kerosene lake, and both harboured the feeling to fly
You said, "I don't know how, I'm rooted tight to the ground; but I'll follow if you touch the sky"
Using the feathers you gave me I soared through the Light, only to see that my wings were in patches
As I was dashed on the waves, I reverted my gaze, to see you trembling on the shore lighting matches...
But I do not blame you, for I've been on that shore, and I've been so terrified I wanted to burn
Though the flames are enticing, this body's meant to be gliding and I wonder when it comes to my turn
Underneath
How good it feels
To breathe new air
Underneath
This widening sky
- Jonathan Marshall
Rwanda
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I’m from the land where dreams
Never go to die
The land where folks never give up
Rwanda is a history of trial and tribulation
When we talk about our families
We talk about warriors, mothers and neighbours
Who sacrificed their lives
So no weapon formed against me shall prosper
For my mother is my keeper
My sisters are my armour
And I will feed the hands of your father
If the devil comes knocking at our door
- Stephane Mukunzi
Tilt
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Bells clashing in unison
bid the ships to sail
free to dance on the surface
of waves pumping like blood
through veins
bound like tight ropes
high
with hopes
of the ladies in red
who possess but one wish:
to remain true
to their promise
never to sink.
- Cosette Vandenberg
(June 16 2015)